I look around and feel overwhelmed by messages telling me I’m “not enough.” Not skinny enough, parenting well enough, putting enough effort into my home, spending enough time with my spouse, giving my children enough experiences, etc.
It. Is. Exhausting. Overwhelming.
Social media accelerates these messages when I mindlessly scroll through feeds and see what everyone else is doing better. I see the filtered, posed snippets of another’s life and feel bad about my own. I hold myself to a higher and harsher standard than I do my friends.
The enemy (he’s very real and very present y’all) prowls around whispering lies to me. The enemy wants me to feel distracted and exhausted. He wants me to question every decision and constantly compare myself to the “perfect” moms filling my newsfeed. I’ve spent seasons rushing around and feeling depleted while trying to reach a wholly unobtainable goal: perfection.
Can you relate?
If so, I’m sorry to disappoint but you’ll never get there.
Just as soon as we think we are close, the bar inevitably rises. The high we feel coming so close to “perfect” is quickly replaced by crushing waves of defeat. The enemy leans in, whispering “Told you so. You aren’t good enough.”
What would happen if we let ourselves off the hook? What if we made the time – DAILY – for God and *gasp* ourselves?
“Oh I couldn’t possibly . . .” I hear you pushing back. I don’t understand how busy you are. I don’t understand your commitments. Your schedule. Your kids.
Friends, we set the rhythm in our house. We overcommit. We say yes WAY too much. We hold ourselves to these impossible standards for our marriage, parenting, and friendships. We look at what others are doing and determine we are failing.
“We compare our behind-the-scenes with other people’s highlight reels.”
Pastor Steven Furtick
Let’s give ourselves a break.
It is okay to:
- Let the cleaning go for a day.
- Make the kids help out around the house, even if they had a “long” day at school.
- Not entertain your child 24/7/365.
- Feed your child some non-organic meal or, *gasp* fast food, once in a while. (Or multiple times a week like me, ha!)
- Sit on the couch and read a book – FOR FUN. (Not another parenting book about how to improve all you are doing wrong.)
- Coordinate a play date for the sole purpose of either a) having an adult conversation or b) having a child entertain yours so you can breathe.
- Put the kids to bed early and watch Friends reruns.
Furthermore, let’s give our kids a break! Stop putting so much pressure on our kids to reach these highly unobtainable goals. Our generation survived and thrived without helicopter and lawnmower parenting styles. Let kids be kids.
If you consider yourself a Christian woman, make time for God every. single. day. True rest and peace is found at the feet of Jesus. If you don’t know Jesus, I would love to tell you about Him. He’s changed my life, and my perspective.
Life is too short to be overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, and unhappy. No one says at the end of their life, “I wish I had spent more time cleaning.” Except maybe Monica Geller.
Momma, it’s okay.
Let’s continue the conversation! What would you add to the list I started? It’s okay to . . .
*Share this with a friend who needs to know it’s okay. I recently quit Facebook and you can read about that here.
**I’m back on Facebook after my hiatus, and this piece I wrote a year ago encouraged me to be intentional with my time spent on social media.